Grandpa Shop Vac
NOTE: This originally appeared in my newsletter, Skizzleplex. Sign up today so you don’t miss out! Trashburg was like a lot of rural Mississippi: provincial, backwards…
“I hate that damn song!” by Ray Parker Jr.
It may surprise you to hear, but Ray Parker Jr. has a deep- seated contempt for his most famous song, the “Theme From Ghostbusters.”Unlike some artists,…
Dr. Penis Puncher, M.D.
Now that my lawsuit is over, I can finally tell you my story: In the fall of 2017, I was experiencing numbness ‘down there’ and so…
I’m a pilot!
Back in the ‘olden days’ of plane travel, I got to sit in the pilot’s seat of the 747 taking my family to Disney World and…
Best summer ever!
I don’t know about you, but so far my summer is sucking big time. It’s even worse when I compare it to last summer, which was…
No Soup For New Cars.
NOTE: This is an entry from my twitter page that I have condesnsed here for increased ease of readability. ATTN: BMW USA, I recently tried to…
Don’t Pinch Me!
I fucked up. Big time. Right now, I am writing this blog on my iPhone. I am huddled under my desk trying to get a hold…
Attack of the Clones®
“Look at this shit!” Frank demanded, holding out a tissue containing several curly black hairs, which he attempted to force upon the nearest three or four…
Flackers: an awful ‘food’
I am currently on a diet which requires me to eat no carbs. I’m not sticking to it because that would be crazy, but in an attempt…
Best ways to hang up after phone sex.
Calling a 1-900 number for phone sex – a leisurely pursuit once so maligned, it was almost considered a dirty word. The practice has achieved mainstream approval…
