"The Fiona Apple of Comedy"

Top 10 rejected action movie catch phrases!

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  1. I know you say he’s a good egg, but if he crosses me again, I’m gonna make him into an omelet!
  2. If I he doesn’t stop stalking my daughter on Facebook, I’m gonna have him ‘check in’ at Forest Lawn and he’ll never check out! And I’ll make sure to ‘like’ it!
  3. [In a McDonald’s] I’ll have quarter pounder with vengeance and no salt on my justice! And a Large Diet Dr. Pepper.
  4. Bad guy: Please don’t kill me! *BANG* Me:  You forgot to say ‘please.’ Oh wait, you did. My bad.
  5. I’m gonna Jeff Gillooly this bitch!
  6. When we’re done with him, he’s gonna have to switch political parties, because he’s gonna need Obamacare to buy him a new wheelchair.
  7. I’m gonna ‘unfollow’ him with extreme prejudice and then retweet this picture of his busted ass face.
  8. Your ass is grass and I’m a guy who is going to stab the grass 147 times in a row.
  9. Do you like apples? Well that’s good to know because I’m gonna choke you to death.
  10. I’m a glass half full kind of guy, that is if the glass is full of acid and I threw half of it at your face and saved the other half for your mother after I made her watch.
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